Thursday, September 17, 2009

I love Erma Bombeck, I have read her stuf since high school.  I remember once when CC was a baby, I checked out every book the library had that was authored by her.  I laughed and cried and filed away so many great tips and anectodes.  Recently this writing by her came across my path again and although it stings a little it also rings with truth for me.  I hope by posting it you get a little more insight into my mother's heart and also find a deeper appreciation for a great writer.

THE SPECIAL MOTHER by Erma Bombeck



Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit.  This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?
Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, he instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.


"Armstrong, Beth: son. Patron saint, Matthew. Forest, Marjorie: daughter; patron saint Cecilia.
"Rutledge, Carrie: twins. Patron saint....give her Gerard. He's used to profanity.
"Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a handicapped child.
"The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," says God. "Could I give a child with a handicap to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But does she have patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."
The angel gasps. "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied."
"She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations."
"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see- ignorance, cruelty, prejudice- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice
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I am waiting for the miracle of hearing my son say, "Momma"  or "Dadda"  or anything.  I am waiting for those first steps.  I think I go back and forth between shock and disappointment to self-loving and self-loathing.  But I can also say I see small things with such a spirit of gratitude and accomplishment nowdays.  I am no where close to a patron saint and I havent even fully accepted or adapted to my role as a special needs mom.  But I love how the author states "she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."  I have been trusted with the lives of precious children and I do view it as my life's work.  I try to do it well, with humor and grace and love.  I definately do not always succeed but I am examining this new word, CAPABLE.  I am trying it on, seeing how it feels, making a few adjustments but I think I am going to go with it. 

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